Advisory Note:
The following post is not me whining. It is just me recording this day for posterity. It may sound like whining--but it's not. Really.
6:30 am: Andrea gets up with Lady Harriet. While Harriet nurses Andrea starts to hear noises downstairs as the other children awake.
6:45 am: Miriam and other children come upstairs. Miriam informs Andrea that Eli had possession of glue and that he and Emeline and Cowen poured it around. Andrea sends Miriam to the bathroom for a bath and Eli to Harriet's room for a diaper change.
6:50 am: Andrea takes off Eli's diaper, wipes him down and puts him in the tub with Emeline who got in when Miriam got out.
6:55 am: Andrea goes downstairs and sees Elmer's Glue all over everything in Miriam's room. On the floor, on the walls, on the ledges, on the bookshelf, on books, on bedding, on beds, on the window. Andrea has a small meltdown.
7:00 am: Andrea's conversation at the children wakes up Timothy.
7:03: Andrea goes in bathroom and finds Eli dumping copious amounts of water into the kitty litter. Andrea moves kitty litter box outside and gets Emeline and Eli out of the tub, dressed, and seated at the table (Eli locked in his booster). Cowen gets in the tub. Andrea mops bathroom floor and then fills up a bucket of water and starts to clean up glue.
7:30 am: Andrea finds poo on the carpet in the closet of Miriam's bedroom while she's looking around for more glue. Andrea investigates the beds and finds . . . well, I'll keep that part to myself. Andrea goes upstairs and confronts a certain child. Sheets are thrown away, children are all crying, Andrea is also crying while she cleans up the carpet.
8:00 am: Andrea puts some laundry in the washer while certain child starts vacuuming--the first of several extra chores. The rest of the children (except Harriet) are still crying.
8:30 am: Andrea nurses Harriet on the other side while other children cry for breakfast. Or because they have to continue sitting at the table.
9:00 am: Andrea finally gets breakfast on the table.
9:30: Breakfast ends. Andrea changes Eli's wet pants and encourages oldest children to clear the table and start morning chores. Certain child gets a spanking for dawdling while redoing vacuuming because of poor execution the first time around (poor execution on the vacuuming--the spanking was well-placed).
10:00: Andrea hides in her room to eat a truffle Timothy had purchased for himself.
10:10: Andrea sends children outside to play.
10: 12: Andrea catches children in the garden eating raspberries and engaging in mass rule-breakage.
10: 13: All children receive a general scolding (loud) and are told to exit garden immediately.
10: 14: Emeline sent to her room because she is caught trying to reenter garden as soon as Andrea's back is turned.
10: 18: Emeline allowed to return to the great outdoors.
10: 19: Emeline sent back to her room for trying to sneak into the garden yet again.
10: 30: Certain child finally done redoing extra chore and is kicked outside.
10: 31: Eli uses the potty and goes number 2. Yeah!
10: 40: Andrea finishes washing off the table, sweeping kitchen floor and switching laundry over.
10: 41: Andrea changes into gardening clothes and heads outside with Lucille held protectively to prevent any accidents. Patsy goes crazy.
10: 42: Andrea encourages three oldest children to enter garden and start weeding. Andrea also encourages Eli to not enter the garden and step on all the plants.
10: 42 continued: No children comply.
10: 43: Major tongue-lashing commences.
10: 44: Cowen starts weeding furiously. Miriam lays on the ground and protests that it is too hot to do work. All she can manage is harassing Lucille. Eli tramples some plants.
10: 46: Miriam starts weeding due to fear of great bodily injury. Eli and Emeline are banished to the swing set.
10: 47: Andrea reminds Miriam to keep working.
10:48: Andrea reminds Miriam to keep working.
10:48 and 30 seconds: Andrea threatens bodily injury.
10:49: Miriam weeds for approximately 1 minute, stopping every 2 seconds to ask when Grandma Young will arrive.
10:50: Andrea's blood pressure approaches dangerous levels.
11:30: Andrea notices Emeline and Eli enter the house. Decides, foolishly, to finish one last row.
11:32: Andrea has to jump up and save Lucille from certain death because Miriam has "accidentally" let her get in the tree and Patsy can leap very high.
11:33: Andrea inquires about the inner workings or non-workings of Miriam's brain.
11: 35: Andrea gives up, puts away gardening things, gives Cowen a few final watering instructions and goes inside.
11:37: Andrea finds Emeline and Eli drawing on the walls in Cowen's room with markers Miriam had failed to secure after her recent crafting.
11: 38: Andrea generously allows Emeline and Eli to wash walls.
11: 42: Lady Harriet demands attention.
12:00: Grandma Young picks Miriam up for her birthday outing.
1:30: Andrea finally gets children put into their rooms for quiet time.
2:00: Andrea forgoes washing off table, sweeping floor and changing laundry over for reading her favorite blog.
2:15: Andrea wonders if this day is early retribution for daring to plan a date with hubby for first time in months. She also remembers she has to take a shower some time today.
2:18: Andrea reads novel while eating celery sticks with peanut butter.
2:30: Andrea does the Firm--the most brutal home workout known to mankind. Andrea's legs turn to jelly. Forcing her to sit down and blog.
The end.
Except it isn't the end. There is still folding laundry, getting Cowen to wash dishes, supper to feed children, decision to be made about whether or not to take Harriet on date or leave her home with babysitter. Shower to take, hair to do, hubby to impress.
As they say, the days are long, but the years are short.
This has been a very, very long day.
The following post is not me whining. It is just me recording this day for posterity. It may sound like whining--but it's not. Really.
6:30 am: Andrea gets up with Lady Harriet. While Harriet nurses Andrea starts to hear noises downstairs as the other children awake.
6:45 am: Miriam and other children come upstairs. Miriam informs Andrea that Eli had possession of glue and that he and Emeline and Cowen poured it around. Andrea sends Miriam to the bathroom for a bath and Eli to Harriet's room for a diaper change.
6:50 am: Andrea takes off Eli's diaper, wipes him down and puts him in the tub with Emeline who got in when Miriam got out.
6:55 am: Andrea goes downstairs and sees Elmer's Glue all over everything in Miriam's room. On the floor, on the walls, on the ledges, on the bookshelf, on books, on bedding, on beds, on the window. Andrea has a small meltdown.
7:00 am: Andrea's conversation at the children wakes up Timothy.
7:03: Andrea goes in bathroom and finds Eli dumping copious amounts of water into the kitty litter. Andrea moves kitty litter box outside and gets Emeline and Eli out of the tub, dressed, and seated at the table (Eli locked in his booster). Cowen gets in the tub. Andrea mops bathroom floor and then fills up a bucket of water and starts to clean up glue.
7:30 am: Andrea finds poo on the carpet in the closet of Miriam's bedroom while she's looking around for more glue. Andrea investigates the beds and finds . . . well, I'll keep that part to myself. Andrea goes upstairs and confronts a certain child. Sheets are thrown away, children are all crying, Andrea is also crying while she cleans up the carpet.
8:00 am: Andrea puts some laundry in the washer while certain child starts vacuuming--the first of several extra chores. The rest of the children (except Harriet) are still crying.
8:30 am: Andrea nurses Harriet on the other side while other children cry for breakfast. Or because they have to continue sitting at the table.
9:00 am: Andrea finally gets breakfast on the table.
9:30: Breakfast ends. Andrea changes Eli's wet pants and encourages oldest children to clear the table and start morning chores. Certain child gets a spanking for dawdling while redoing vacuuming because of poor execution the first time around (poor execution on the vacuuming--the spanking was well-placed).
10:00: Andrea hides in her room to eat a truffle Timothy had purchased for himself.
10:10: Andrea sends children outside to play.
10: 12: Andrea catches children in the garden eating raspberries and engaging in mass rule-breakage.
10: 13: All children receive a general scolding (loud) and are told to exit garden immediately.
10: 14: Emeline sent to her room because she is caught trying to reenter garden as soon as Andrea's back is turned.
10: 18: Emeline allowed to return to the great outdoors.
10: 19: Emeline sent back to her room for trying to sneak into the garden yet again.
10: 30: Certain child finally done redoing extra chore and is kicked outside.
10: 31: Eli uses the potty and goes number 2. Yeah!
10: 40: Andrea finishes washing off the table, sweeping kitchen floor and switching laundry over.
10: 41: Andrea changes into gardening clothes and heads outside with Lucille held protectively to prevent any accidents. Patsy goes crazy.
10: 42: Andrea encourages three oldest children to enter garden and start weeding. Andrea also encourages Eli to not enter the garden and step on all the plants.
10: 42 continued: No children comply.
10: 43: Major tongue-lashing commences.
10: 44: Cowen starts weeding furiously. Miriam lays on the ground and protests that it is too hot to do work. All she can manage is harassing Lucille. Eli tramples some plants.
10: 46: Miriam starts weeding due to fear of great bodily injury. Eli and Emeline are banished to the swing set.
10: 47: Andrea reminds Miriam to keep working.
10:48: Andrea reminds Miriam to keep working.
10:48 and 30 seconds: Andrea threatens bodily injury.
10:49: Miriam weeds for approximately 1 minute, stopping every 2 seconds to ask when Grandma Young will arrive.
10:50: Andrea's blood pressure approaches dangerous levels.
11:30: Andrea notices Emeline and Eli enter the house. Decides, foolishly, to finish one last row.
11:32: Andrea has to jump up and save Lucille from certain death because Miriam has "accidentally" let her get in the tree and Patsy can leap very high.
11:33: Andrea inquires about the inner workings or non-workings of Miriam's brain.
11: 35: Andrea gives up, puts away gardening things, gives Cowen a few final watering instructions and goes inside.
11:37: Andrea finds Emeline and Eli drawing on the walls in Cowen's room with markers Miriam had failed to secure after her recent crafting.
11: 38: Andrea generously allows Emeline and Eli to wash walls.
11: 42: Lady Harriet demands attention.
12:00: Grandma Young picks Miriam up for her birthday outing.
1:30: Andrea finally gets children put into their rooms for quiet time.
2:00: Andrea forgoes washing off table, sweeping floor and changing laundry over for reading her favorite blog.
2:15: Andrea wonders if this day is early retribution for daring to plan a date with hubby for first time in months. She also remembers she has to take a shower some time today.
2:18: Andrea reads novel while eating celery sticks with peanut butter.
2:30: Andrea does the Firm--the most brutal home workout known to mankind. Andrea's legs turn to jelly. Forcing her to sit down and blog.
The end.
Except it isn't the end. There is still folding laundry, getting Cowen to wash dishes, supper to feed children, decision to be made about whether or not to take Harriet on date or leave her home with babysitter. Shower to take, hair to do, hubby to impress.
As they say, the days are long, but the years are short.
This has been a very, very long day.
4 comments:
Wow. I'm impressed with how cheerful you were when I called. I hope your date went well.
What a fantastic post!! I cracked up so hard at what happened at 10:00, because I have done exactly that! Hilarious day you had; well, when you tell us all about it like the way you do, it is just so comical!
I do hope your date went well. My husband wants to know what Tim thought of you eating his truffle? ;)
Oh, oh, oh. I hate the day, but I love hearing you describe it. My favorite part is "poor execution on the vacuuming--the spanking was well-placed." awesome. I hope the date was fun and that today is better!!
Wow. I am left with no words. Other than...
Amazing woman you are.
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