In Cahoots

My family is very, very, exceedingly rude. And they did an exceedingly rude thing--and they were ALL in CAHOOTS against me! Just because I'm the, um, gullible one. The most likely to believe the unbelievable one. The one who would be exceedingly distressed if my brother EVER DID what he PRETENDED to do!

You might want to hear the story.

I went to my Mom's house Saturday night to practice the song I sang with Mom and Lindsay in church on Sunday. I was visiting with mom in the kitchen when Ethan walked in with . . . diamond earrings.

WHAT??!!!!!!

I almost had a heart attack. I didn't say anything at first because I was so in shock. I was more shocked when Mom didn't say anything. When Ethan went downstairs I asked Mom when Ethan had done it and she said that day (so Saturday). I asked what DAD had said and done. Mom said something along the lines of Dad wasn't very happy about it and Ethan would be taking them out for church the next day for SURE.

Still. Dad just letting Ethan walk around with earrings???!!!

So then, I couldn't help myself--I'm sure all the rudies in cahoots already guessed that--and I said probably exactly what they expected I would say to Ethan--that it was a foolish thing to do, that he needed to read the "Strength of Youth Pamphlet" that the holes never fill back in, as my ears proved (I haven't worn earrings since I was 16, but the holes are still visible). Ethan said that all of his team was doing it. That his teammates were his "brothers," and that it was macho because of some athletes. I don't remember the athletes names, but they sounded black--so I told Ethan he should rush right out and paint himself black too, to be like them.

I'm sure all the rudies thought I was hysterical. Of course, only Mom and Ethan heard all that part.

Then, the weirdest part was that everyone else acted like it was okay--or at least, no big deal. Dad said that he was not impressed, but didn't say anything else. When I asked Lindsay Ann what Wyatt had said to Ethan, she said that he hadn't bothered to say anything because Ethan wouldn't listen. And that was it. Nobody else acted like it was at all strange, and it supposedly had only happened THAT DAY.

I should have clued in a lot sooner, with all that evidence. But that night when we were roasting hot dogs, Ethan's friend Kyle came over to pick Ethan up, and he said something about Ethan's earrings. So I asked him why he didn't have earrings since Ethan said all his friends were getting them. Kyle said that he was a senior and it was only the juniors who were getting them.

Totally believable performance. Yeah, he was in cahoots too.

So Sunday night, after I had worried about Ethan's making such a choice and what it meant and being sad that he would be so openly disobedient, Mom told me to go look at Ethan's ears. I thought he must have put in the "heart earrings" he'd told Mom about, but when I went over there were no earrings and no HOLES IN HIS EARS.

Yeah, everyone was in cahoots against me--everyone else knew they were some newfangled magnetic earrings that I had never heard about, even my husband knew--and I never even suspected.

As Dad would say: it just goes to show.

Yeah, shows that my family is filled with MEAN people!!!!

Although, truth be told, I was just so relieved that Ethan didn't have earrings that I couldn't really work up the proper indignation.