Marley and Me: Kenny don't read this

Kenny (my FIL) shouldn't read this because he's already questioning my judgement because I don't like the book Tuesdays With Morrie.

It is all Kenny's fault I watched Marley and Me because he raved about it and said everyone should watch it and rolled his eyes at me when I said, "Isn't it about a dog?" I'm really not a pet kind of a girl and certainly not much of an out-of-control-slapstick-dog-comedy-that-isn't-funny kind of a girl. However, numerous people reiterated that the movie was about a lot more than a dog and one person said it was a about a woman who decides to stay home with her kids. Aha! That sounded like my kind of movie.

It was and it wasn't. I found myself feeling downhearted (for lack of a less corny term) at the end of it. Technically I shouldn't have felt that way because it had all the right things in it. A monogamous couple who love each other and say things like "mend it, don't end it" when they go through rough patches. It had a woman who chose to leave a promising career and stay home with her children and despite the Great Awakening that we all go through about the challenges of small children ("nobody told us it would be this hard!!") she claims to have no regrets about her choices. It has a man who gradually comes to an awareness that his choice to have a wife and family is the source of all his happiness despite that choice changing other parts of his life in unintended ways (his career path, mainly).

There finally exists a movie that has a Dad that isn't overweight, blue-collar, rude and/or stupid. A portrayal of American masculinity that doesn't involve crude humor or violence. A masculinity that reflects women's expectations of men instead of the old John Wayne image reinventing itself time and again. (And yes--I wrote my master's thesis on masculinity, bear with me.)

So what was my problem exactly? Well, first there was that ridiculously annoying dog. It wouldn't have lasted three days in my house. Destructive monster. Than there was Jenny (the girl) looking glamourous two days after having a baby. With all of Hollywood's advanced skills they couldn't make her face look even a little bit puffy? So lame. There was also Jenny's predictable speech about how she feels she lost most of her identity in choosing to leave the work force and stay home. Same-o, same-0. Fortunately it was a small lapse and overall I thought the script writer did a great job with her character. She redeemed herself when she told her husband that her life was much better and much happier than she ever dreamed about.

Really, those were small things. What really bothered me is that it took so long for John to figure out what he had. To value his family and stop thinking about sacrifices he made or how things could be better if they were different. Fundamentally, there was no God in this movie. John took so long to value his life because he didn't have any reason to. He managed, by good luck and his desire to stay with his wife and make her happy, to wind up with a happy life but left up to him--he wouldn't have. I don't mean to be cliched that women make men into truly good people blah blah. I mean that there was no underriding value system that informed his decision making.

For some reason that really killed the movie for me in lots of ways. I just wanted to smack him and say--you are a child of God. This is where you came from. This is why you are here. When you had those children you became a co-creator with God. You can be with your family forever. This is what happens after you die. This is what happens to your dog after it dies. This is why the choices you have made are making you happy. Now teach your children about why they are here so they have the best possible chance of being happy. Don't leave it to luck or chance like you did with yourself.

Anyway--like I said, I probably should have thought it was a phenomenal movie but instead it left me feeling a little flat.

That's the problem with dog movies. :)