Sinead

Emeline's had it pretty rough lately. First, there was the whole "foam up the nose" incident. I'm not sure exactly when that incident started, obviously. If I had known there was "foam up the nose" I would have pulled it out, end of story. Instead, I thought she smelled terrible as an after-effect of the flu and a severely boogery nose. I even asked Doc (my brother Derek) and he said it was most likely a sinus something or other and wait for a few weeks.

I waited. And waited. And waited. After a month of having an intensely stinky child I called my pediatrician, Polly. She said to take Emeline in since it had been so long. As soon as the doctor smelled Emeline, he said there was something stuck up her nose. Rancid. That's probably the best word to describe the smell. I held Emeline down while the doctor used some crocodile chompers (I'm pretty sure that's the medical term for it) to make chomping noises that made Emeline giggle and then pull out this mucus encrusted, unidentifiable gob of grossness. That is definitely an accurate medical term. Then the doctor gave me a prescription for Emeline's ear infection, told me she should start smelling better in a few days, and sent me on my way.

The day of the cousin Christmas party, Megan and Amy told me most emphatically to take Emeline back to the doctor because she still smelled terrible and it had been a few days. Since I was unwilling to spend money, I gave her a bath the next morning, then held her down while she howled and examined her myself. Ah, yes. More foam in the nose. I got out my tweezers and pulled it out. Much bleeding of the nostril ensued--which was good because Emeline thought that was cool and forgot to shriek. She's a loud one. I, being a masochistic and curious idiot, smelled the mucus encrusted foam. I can't really explain why. I only know that I, a person with a very high tolerance for odors when not pregnant, almost passed out. And puked. Passing out and puking at the same time seems entirely reasonable when I think about that stink. It is the grossest thing I've ever smelled in my life. And I will DEFINITELY recognize the smell again should another of my offspring try the same trick.

But having several large somethings stuck up her nose for over a month was only the beginning of Emeline's trials and tribulations.

The second story starts on Christmas day when Timothy and I chose to take our family to my parent's house where cousins and sickness abound. I'm pretty positive it is a medical fact that cousins and sickness are inseperable. We almost left the minute we heard the amount of puking that had been going on, but decided to throw caution to the wind. Mostly I wanted to show off my Christmas present, but that is another post for another time. And play Puerto Rico. Which we did. Again, another post.

I'm the only one, so far, of my family to contract the flu. It's a pretty mild strain and I threw up once last night and have a sore stomach so not too bad. But I was tired all day and left my children unsupervised more than is advisable with a certain red-headed stepchild around to run amuk. And run amuk she did. On Emeline's head. When I realized the extent of the damage, I gave Emeline a buzz cut with a number 2 (I buzz Cowen's hair with a number 3) to try and even up the bald spots with the almost bald spots. Sigh.

Sinead. In my own house.

To be completely honest though, Emeline totally carries it off. She looks like a pretty boy. Or a girlish elf creature. Not what I would like; but not as terrible as it could be. I wish my camera worked so I could post pictures. Sad sigh. The bright side is now she can't twirl her hair and pull it out (she was already practically bald on her twirling side) and maybe this will cure her of the habit. I can hope.

And now I'm going to leave you with a little Emeline story. The other day, I told the kids to clean their bedrooms. I was specific about what needed to be done, emphatic about dawdling, and clear about the parameters of the assignment. Like all good teachers, I asked a clarifying question at the end to make sure everyone understood. I said, "So what is your responsibility right now?"

To which question, Emeline responded, "Get baptized."